Thursday, February 11, 2009 » Every Valentine�s Eve I write an email to the future me, reminding her of how I spent the present holiday. The word �lonely� comes up an awful lot.
OK, I know that sounds pathetic. The fact that I send an e-mail to myself (via futureme.org) one year into the future is probably the reason I am lonely on Feb. 14. But I like to pretend it�s not. Maybe next year some guy will think that�s the cleverest way to spend the day before Valentine�s Day. I never know how to approach this holiday. Some years I get caught up in a current crush. In high school I liked this boy, Ben, who only knew me as �that one girl,� or later, �crazy stalker Lauren.� Around Valentine�s Day I found ways to go to Huntington University to see him. (They were really college visit days, I swear.)
Other years I�d pretend I was happy being single and take Jesus out on a date. I call this denial. Spending time in prayer is not a bad way to spend Valentine�s Day, don�t get me wrong, but I was inevitably praying for a boyfriend.
This year I honestly don�t care. I care about getting candy, but that�s about it. I sent my mom, sister and stepdad valentines earlier this week, hoping my paper cutout hearts convince them to send chocolate. I�m still waiting.
Last Sunday my roommate and I talked about how we wanted to start celebrating Jewish holidays and Christian feast days. For once we�d give up something for all 40 days of Lent; we�d eat matzo during Passover. Instead of only celebrating Hallmark holidays, we�d celebrate ones that meant something to our faith.
Valentine�s Day is a Christian feast day. In 496, Pope Gelasius I established the holiday in honor of one or all the saints named Valentine who were martyred for the faith. So maybe this is how I want to spend my Valentine�s Day: instead of thinking about a certain boy, I can honor the men and women willing to die for the Gospel. Instead of praying for a boy to bring me flowers, I can pray for the persecuted church.
I�m going to try it this year; wish me luck. If anything, it will make my future emails more interesting.